I think I’m getting better at dealing with that. Sort of. Ok. Maybe I’m at least better at pretending that I’m dealing with it ok? Trying to throw myself a bone…
Anyway. Lots of stuff happening in my life right now.
A major career move - that starts next week. Only one week home from vacation. Only a few hours to spend with the new pharmacy manager to train her on the logistics of running
my her pharmacy. Relocating to a place I’ve never even visited. Saying goodbye to friends. Training for a marathon. Selling my house. Buying a new house. Moving. Figuring out the logistics of doing those things with six cats and two dogs. Finding a new veterinarian (seriously stresses me out). Going to Chicago. By myself To meet a lot of people most of which I’ve never met. To run a marathon.
Exciting? Yes. Terrifying? Yes. The thing is, if this had happened at any other time in my life I would have been seriously freaking out. I probably never would have pursued the promotion for the fear of all the sheer logistics involved. If I had decided to go for it, I probably would have used it as an excuse of why I could no longer train for the marathon. I would have been too afraid that it wouldn’t work out.
It seriously might sound ridiculous, but in the past six months something has changed (I don’t think it’s a coincidence that I started my tumblr six months ago). I’m not perfect. Believe me, I’m still freaking out a little. But I know that in my head that it will be ok. I know in my heart that I can handle all of it.
I’m not kidding myself, into thinking it will be easy. I’m sure there will be tears and doubt and freaking out in the future, but for the first time in a long time I’m just taking it one day at a time. One little thing at a time instead of trying to process everything at once. Guys. That is huge. Only 37.5 years in the making. I feel an eerie sense of calm that is overpowering the freaking out. Seriously. What happened to Betsy?